Eldercare is Expensive and Emotionally Taxing for Families

this story is part We lowered the priceCNET’s coverage of how real people are coping with the high cost of living in the US.

As a child, I was spoiled by my grandparents. My grandparents bought me new toys and clothes whenever I asked. At the time, I cared little about the dollars spent on that glorious “win” that day.

Fast forward 30 years and our relationship now revolves around those dollars. Taking care of my aging grandparents is about transferring my family’s hard-earned savings out the door.

The high costs of elderly care in the United States often fall on families. Families struggle between making ends meet and providing the best possible care for their elderly relatives. My family’s situation in suburban Charlotte, North Carolina, is just one of many stories in a country where an aging population is facing similar economic hardships.

By 2034, baby boomers born between 1946 and 1964 are expected to outnumber the younger population for the first time in U.S. Census history. All the while, the cost of long-term care—from nursing homes and day care services to supplies and medicine—continues to skyrocket, placing an increasing burden on American families.

As this generational transition approaches, greater access to resources that reduce the cost of long-term care and expanded services for those aged 65 and over are essential. Planning ahead with your family can make aged care for your loved ones more affordable.

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Nearly ten years ago, my family took steps to prepare for having to help my maternal grandparents (now aged 87 and 82) get older. We moved them from Pennsylvania to North Carolina. My parents and I also live in North Carolina. Selling my grandparents’ house partially financed the move, securing furniture and a new car. However, that money was not enough to buy a new place for them to live.

That cost landed on my mom and uncle who spent $100,000 in 2013 to buy my grandparents a house. That was my first big expense. In the years since, we have provided financial assistance ranging from weekly groceries and supplies to home maintenance such as painting the house, shampooing the carpet, roof repairs and lawn care. to dollars.

My grandparents receive about $1,700 in combined Social Security income each month and currently have about $25,000 in savings. Both have Medicare, which provides health insurance for those over age 65 on Social Security, but does not cover long-term care such as assisted living, nursing homes, or ancillary support services. Hmm. They applied for Medicaid, which provides health insurance for low-income people and essential support for older people in need of care, but its approval is still pending.

As their health deteriorated, so did our spending, with no end in sight.

In the fall my grandfather broke his hip and needed surgery. I am relieved that the surgery was successful, but now I need continuous care in an expensive inpatient rehabilitation facility. His insurance ended financial aid last month, so his continued stay and treatment to help him recover will cost $362 a day. If all of his grandparents’ savings were to be spent on his grandfather’s care, he would spend 69 days at the facility. After that, the bill becomes my family obligation.

Going to the hospital and sitting with my grandmother who has dementia and needs around-the-clock care also meant giving up work and income for me and other family members. For example, during this past year of hers, I was unable to participate in a $3,000/month long-term writing project. My employer was concerned that it would conflict with my time commitment to keeping my grandparents healthy. As a full-time freelance writer, it hit my budget hard, but I had no choice.

A caretaker costs $100 a week and gives you a short break every Monday. Meanwhile, nearly every other essential item has gone up in price, from utility bills to food and even diapers for her Depend.

High cost of care affects millions of households

My family is still at the beginning of their elderly care journey. Millions of families across the country have cared for their aging family members for years and decades. His two of those families are in my own community in Mooresville just outside Charlotte.

Marge Wolf cared for her mother, named Marge, from 2005 until she died of Alzheimer’s disease last summer. Between losing her wages and out-of-pocket medical expenses for her mother, Wolf spent about $30,000, depleting all of her retirement savings.

Wolf eventually had to take out a second mortgage on the house to make sure he could cover his mother’s Alzheimer’s medicine, which cost him $600 a month. Added to this was $100 a month of adult diapers, her four uses of mobile transportation to doctor visits at $150 each, and $300 of washable bed her liners.

“I was living pretty much paycheck to paycheck,” Wolfe said.

As Wolff’s mother’s illness worsened, she required home hospice. At the time, Medicare provided wheelchairs, commodes, tray tables, hospital beds, and a caregiver twice a week and a nurse once a week. But then Wolfe’s mom leveled off. She wasn’t getting worse, but she wasn’t getting better either. Medicare discharged her from hospice and removed her medical supplies, leaving Wolfe to cover the cost of replacing these items at his own expense.

Wolff’s mother was out of hospice care for the next two years, but returned to hospice care three more times before she died over the summer.

Jamie Neese has been the immediate caregiver for his 75-year-old mother-in-law, Faye, and Faye’s 68-year-old sister, Sue, for over five years. Sue was diagnosed with cerebral palsy as a child and Faye spent most of her life as her caretaker. But then Faye, who had polio, COPD and other illnesses, experienced a rapid deterioration in her health and she was also diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Now Faye needs daily care.

Neese has spent $150,000 adding a 600-square-foot, two-bedroom wing to the house as the two prepare to move into their family home. He assumed the role of full-time caretaker for both Faye and Sue and is no longer working. He looked into outside caregiver options so he could return to his job, but the math wasn’t adding to his family. All his salary goes to their medical expenses.

Faye and her sister receive $1,200 a month from disability benefits, which Nice said was “barely enough to eat.” He and his family spend $625 a month on diet-compliant food alone, $600 on adult diapers, wipes and ointments, and $135 on vitamins. In addition, there are doctor’s appointments, each of which he has $15 to $45 out-of-pocket, and $500 in transportation each month. The family also purchased his $1,500 stretcher to accommodate Faye’s mobility restrictions.

The costs are felt throughout the Nice home.

“We’ve cut back on everything. We haven’t taken a vacation in three years. We don’t eat out much,” he said.

Resources for families struggling with care costs

Across the United States, people age 65 and older have a 70% chance of needing long-term care services in their remaining years, and 20% of current 65-year-olds will need care services for five years or more, according to LongTermCare.gov. do.

The first step is to make sure your older relative has some coverage through Medicare or Medicaid and that they don’t lose it. AARP provides an extensive list of resources on where to find help with your Medicaid and Medicare questions online, by phone, in person, and in print. Long-term care insurance is worth considering as your relative approaches retirement age. AARP recommends purchasing a policy between age 60 and her age 65 to cover future medical expenses.

The next step is to plan ahead and anticipate your expenses.

“I’ve watched kids feed their parents until their savings run out,” said Debra Feldman, board president of the Aging Life Care Association, a nonprofit dedicated to helping care managers.

This is especially true when looking at institutional care. “Costs are going through the roof, especially since the pandemic,” Feldman said.

Nationally, median room and board costs vary by market and level of service. Nursing homes average $51,600 a year, and nursing homes hit six figures, according to the American Health Care Association and the National Center for Assisted Living. $93,075 for a semi-private space and $105,850 for a private room. These prices are out of reach for most households and it’s time for Medicaid. According to the American Health Care Association, nearly 1 in 6 assisted living residents rely on Medicaid to pay for daily services.

Feldman suggests that families prepare documents such as wills and powers of attorney. She also advocates working with wealth advisors to figure out ways to make the most of the assets their aging parents and grandparents already have. You can also sell life insurance policies and work with senior life care managers to discuss long-term care plans.

For households struggling to pay their aged care bills, there are several other resources to explore. Individuals can connect with others in the same situation and get support by sharing ideas, tips and recommendations. Online forums such as AgingCare.com Facebook groups are full of advice for seniors and their families.

Additional resources include A Place for Mom, a website that helps connect seniors and their families to affordable resources. Please note that some of these resources may only be available for a fee, depending on the service required.

To save a few bucks, look for local organizations that help seniors in your area. Here in Mooresville, North Carolina, our county’s Iredel Aging Council has proven that information and small services, such as supplemental home caregiver relief and housework programs to help grandparents, are invaluable. The US Administration for Aging offers an Eldercare Locator that can also help you find services and resources for older people in your area.