Close? Too early. So I woke up only 7 hours ago. Circadian rhythms should be respected. Otherwise, you don’t need to worry about your body clock.
Besides, I exercised three weeks ago. It should be considered momentum. In any case, all experts warn against overdoing it. That’s why I underestimate it. Overdoing it is inevitable.
If I exercise today, I have to take a shower too. It requires a lot of water. Just trying to be super sustainable here, folks!
It also helps you get in the mood to actually exercise. Unfortunately, I am never in the mood to exercise. But you never know. The muse could pop out in no time.
Besides, I already do a lot of what you call collateral exercise. Floss vigorously. Do butterfly curls with a fork while eating. It’s all important.
I have too much to do today. I seriously think every email in the junk file deletes itself.
And I’m so hungry that I can’t blow up my quads right now. All nutritionists warn that you should never do downward dog while craving Nutella. Or — my personal policy — anytime between meals and snacks. Refraining from unnecessary movements promotes digestion.
And what if you start your fitness routine but end up dropping it in the middle? Bypassing the exercise ensures that nothing prevents it. ever.
If I belonged to a gym, I would have been more motivated to exercise.
Or if I had an expensive personal trainer who yelled at me in a language I didn’t understand.
Or even just a training buddy who never yelled at me in a language I didn’t understand.
Or if sweatpants looked good on me. Or had a decent app for tracking metrics down to the decimal point. Or my hair stayed in place while my body sweated oldies. Or the humidity drops. Or knew how to do any kind of exercise in the first place. Or you could get exactly the results you envisioned almost instantly.
If all these factors converge, it will be a game changer. The long-awaited new me — carved, carved, torn, shredded, jacked to the max — finally appeared in my mirror.
am i really asking so much? I mean, everyone gets a little out of shape from time to time.
I’m still well under 100, but probably my age.
Just coming up with all these reasons is exhausting. It is better to lie down to catch your breath.
Consultant and essayist Bob Brody is the author of the memoir Playing Catch with Strangers: Family Guy (Reluctantly) Comes of Age.
